Hey so, I’ve been hearing this debate going around lately – does using a dildo count as ‘losing virginity’? It’s something I personally think about a lot because, well, I’m no longer ‘intact’ and I’ve been trying to make sense of how I’m meant to feel about it.
To me, it’s kind of a sensitive topic. For one, I don’t think virginity is something that can necessarily be measured. To me, it’s a pretty abstract concept. Every single person probably has a different opinion on it, and it’s important to respect that we all have the right to our own beliefs.
In my opinion, though, losing virginity isn’t about a particular act or even the way you feel about that act. To me, it’s more about the emotional connection and the truth that the experience brought forth. I think it’s whether it felt like a breakthrough in the history of your own journey, and if it was an honest transition into maturing adulthood.
I always sort of felt like virginity was way more related to feelings of connection and commitment than anything else. No matter what kind of sexual experience you have – even if it’s with a dildo – if you feel the same deep experience that others do, then it can just as much feel like you’ve ‘lost your virginity’ as much as anything else.
And that’s not to say that it has to be a ‘breakthrough’ either. Lots of people might use a dildo and have strictly physical responses, which doesn’t mean that’s bad or wrong. Different people find pleasure in different ways, and that’s something to celebrate. If someone enjoys the feeling of using a dildo and that’s a big moment for them, then that counts, too.
Ultimately, everyone has their own yardstick for what losing virginity means to them. Whether you use a dildo, have sex dolls with someone else, it’s entirely up to the individual to decide how they feel about it. I think as long as you’re being honest with yourself and respectful of other people’s experiences, then it doesn’t really matter what you think about dildos and virginity – it’s all okay.
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That being said, I still think it’s important to be aware of the kinds of societal norms and standards this activity introduces, like privacy, consent, respect, and professionalism. The great thing is that there is no wrong answer here – ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what you do or don’t feel about it. It can be a powerful thing to discover what kind of physical activities bring you pleasure – no matter what your choice is.
For me, I still find myself turning to my dildo on occasion, not because it’s some big life-changing moment but because it’s just a source of pleasure. After my experience, I look at it as a ‘discovery’ of sorts – it was a chance for me to explore something I didn’t know about myself, and a way for to get to another level of pleasure. Maybe that’s the way you look at it, too?