I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw a video from Pornhub that made my blood boil. Endorsed by the company and starring an ebony woman who pretended to be a sex doll, it was one of the most outrageous clips I’d ever seen. It honestly made me so angry to see someone objectifying and sexualizing this woman without her permission like that.
As I continued to watch the video, I realized it portrayed the woman as an object, an idealized version of what a sexual partner should look like. It was as if her body were a means to an end. It made me think of all the other painful experiences Ebony women have to go through in society every day.
I took to the comments section to try to have a little discussion and get some opinions from those who had watched it. To my surprise, there were some people who thought the video was funny, even suggesting it should be used in courses on ‘human anatomy’! Reading their justification infuriated me even more and made me feel like they were belittling the struggles of people who look like the woman in the video.
The thing is, being of mixed race myself, I found it outrageous that someone would use the woman in such an objectifying and degrading way, even if it’s fiction. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for entertainment and I know some people will enjoy this kind of content, but to portray a Black woman like that, without any regard for her dignity, it really exasperated my moral sensibilities.
I decided to do some research to try and understand why a company like Pornhub would post this kind of content. From what I gathered, it looks like it’s part of a trend – a trend that’s becoming increasingly popular. From what I can tell, there are some folks out there that find it sexy or even think the idea of a woman being used as a doll is hot.
It makes me so sad to think that people still think this way in 2021. Even when we’ve tried so hard to get rid of stereotypes and prejudices about racial or gender inequality, there is still a part of society that chooses to reduce people to objects in order to satisfy their own agendas. However, there’s still a bit of hope, because I believe that contemplative and empathetic dialogue is the only way to dismantle such ideas and foster a culture of respect.
I know it’s easy to get caught up in the heat of adversity, but this kind of attitude comes with a huge moral cost. Not only do these videos objectify women, but it also keeps perpetuating outdated assumptions about Black women. The truth is, no one can be truly happy when they must live in an environment where they are constantly judged for their race, gender or sexual orientation.
I guess the only way forward is to keep talking and trying to find better solutions. We should try to listen to each other and understand our differences so that we won’t reduce people to objects, but rather embrace them and learn from them. So let’s keep talking and keep challenging the idea of using Ebony women as sex dolls.
As I mentioned before, part of this trend is the diminishing of Ebony women in a sexual fantasy context. This is the kind of behaviour that creates a hostile environment for minorities. When Black women are continually reduced to dolls, it sends out a message that they’re not deserving of anything besides being a sexual object for someone else’s pleasure. And that’s something we can’t accept.
We have to show that there’s another way; a way in which everyone is respected and everyone is seen and heard. We need to shift our focus from upholding traditional, dangerous and outdated views about sex and gender, and instead celebrate authenticity, uniqueness and diversity.
When it comes to the sex industry, we have to start championing and empowering Black women in their sexuality and choices, instead of castigating them. We need to create a space where everyone can feel safe and accepted with their sexual expression.
It’s a tricky subject and it’s hard to understand it completely, but what I know for sure is that it’s a conversation worth having. It is our responsibility to speak out and to keep pushing for better sex toys education in schools and universities, to raise more awareness on the topic and to make sure our voices are heard.
Real change happens when we come together and create a movement. That is the power of dialogue. So, let’s keep having that dialogue and let’s come up with solutions that work: solutions that are safe, diverse, empathetic and respectful.
We should be striving for a society in which Ebony women are viewed as human beings, and not reduced to dolls simply because their skin complexion entices certain fantasies. We all deserve respect, regardless of gender or skin color. We deserve to be heard and our voices ought to be taken seriously.
It’s time to create a culture of empathy, dialogue and consent, to see people as whole humans rather than objects. It’s up to us to stop this kind of attitude and create an environment that’s safe and respectful for everyone. We owe nothing less than that to our society and to Ebony women everywhere.