I recently watched an intriguing documentary about a man who made his own homemade sex toys doll. After mumbling about the objectification of women in media, my feminist friends and I were naturally in disbelief. What kind of sick mind would attempt to construct something so unsettling? To our surprise, it wasn’t someone we would typically find terribly disturbing!
He was your average, happy-go-lucky guy who kept to himself, and rarely interacted with anyone outside of his family and church. This man had been under immense stress and lacked companionship, sex dolls so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He expressed to the interviewer that the doll was a way for him to learn to cherish other people, learn to love and to accept love himself.
My heart swelled with empathy for him. Even though his decision wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, it was a desperate attempt to connect with something, to feel less alone. His story made me think a lot about the social world we live in and the sometimes-overwhelming feelings of loneliness.
At first, I was ashamed at my thoughts. How on earth could I even relate to such a strange and desperate action? But then I came to the realization that it is possible to form connections with things that are not human, but have qualities similar to humans, proving that his actions weren’t so bizarre after all.
It’s not hard to find a manufactured doll that resembles a human, marketed for a pleasurable experience, but it’s pretty amazing that someone would go through the trouble of constructing a homemade version. From the materials to the construction, it definitely takes a specific kind of work to get it right.
My experiences and knowledge about this man’s faith and catastrophe has made me think about the way physical attraction and love play a role in relationships. Being physiologically attuned to someone is an integral part of the connection between two people, and the desire and need for this connection is a powerful means of expressing our love for one another.
Since watching the documentary, I’ve found myself questioning the idea of modern love and what our society deems as acceptable. We are constantly bombarded with images and stories of traditional, heteronormative relationships that are viewed as the “perfect” standard. But is something created from the heart, even if it’s unconventional, not worth trying? I think we can all take a step back and celebrate stories like this man’s, for it serves as a reminder that love can manifest in a variety of ways.